5 Ways to Get Into Your Teen’s Business

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As a mom that has successfully raised 3 teenagers and currently has a pre-teen in my home, I know the struggles of raising a teen. Parenting a teen can be very hard, especially when teenagers have a tendency to be unpredictable. Since teenagers are hot and cold, it can be difficult to not only be around them but it can sometimes be impossible to know what’s happening in their life. That’s why it’s important to be nosey. Since I have experience raising teenagers, I came up with 5 ways to get into your teen’s business.

I have heard some parents say that a teenager, who is actually still a child, needs and deserves their privacy. Since a teenager’s brain has not completely developed and actually won’t finish developing until sometime in their 20’s, as a parent you have to know what is going on in their life. All teenagers are different but keep in mind, even if you and your teen have an open and honest relationship, you really don’t know if they are being truly honest all of the time.

Here are 5 Ways to Get Into your Child’s Business:

1. Let’s face it when you tell your teen to clean their room they often times don’t ‘really’ clean it. Make it a habit to clean your teen’s room at least 2-3 times a year when they are not home. Not only will this give you an opportunity to get rid of trash, find dishes that have been missing and pass down clothes that no longer fit them but it will also give you the opportunity to stumble across writings, notes or anything that could alert you to the things you may need to know. On a side note, you will want to be very careful how you confront your child if you do find something. I’m by no means a professional but I know that attacking your child or ganging up on your child with your spouse is not the answer. Doing this will push your child away.
2. For too many reasons to list, never allow your teen to go to bed with their phone. Have them place their phone in a separate room until the next day and use this opportunity to be nosey. Check all of their apps, messages, their phone number list and anything unusual or alarming. On another side note, always have passwords to their social media apps and always keep a copy of their contact list they may have.
3. Take your teen out to dinner and leave your cell phone at home or hidden in the car. Since people seem to like to talk while eating, this is a great opportunity for your child to possibly open up to you about their life.
4. Know your child’s friends, as best as you can, and know their parents. If your teen makes plans to have a sleepover, they are never too old for you to call their parents to confirm if indeed, they are having a sleepover and that parents will be home. As they say, ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’, so make sure that you take the time to meet each of their friend’s parents and understand how they themselves parent their kids.
5. Communicate via phone or email with your teen’s teachers, dance coach, sport’s coach, and anyone that they spend time with outside of the home. Ask them to tell you how they are doing in the specific class or activity and if they have any concerns.

For some, getting into your teen’s business might feel as if you aren’t giving them space or you might feel like it’s not giving them a chance to live and learn. It’s important to remember that we are the adults and our teens are still children, so it’s our job to protect them any way that we can. It’s also important that you are subtle with how you decide to be in their business. You don’t want your teen to start hiding certain things, become distant and feel as if they can’t come to you. We are our children’s protectors so we must go the extra mile to make sure they are truly okay.

Do you have a teen? How do you make sure they are okay and not getting into trouble?

You might also want to read this helpful parenting post if you have a teenage daughter.

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