How to Survive Your Daughter’s Teenage Years

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Being a parent is hard but being the parent of a teenage daughter is even harder. As a mom that has raised 3 teenagers and has lived to tell about it, I can assure you that it is possible to survive your daughter’s teenage years. Take a look at a helpful article I wrote a few years ago: What Not to Do When Raising a Teenage Daughter.

I currently have 3 more kids in my home, 1 sweet and can do nothing wrong child, 1 preteen, and 1 teenager and to top it off, they are all girls! With that said, please do not hesitate to send extra prayers in my direction. I am using the experiences that I gained from raising my older 3 kids to survive and remain as sane as possible while I raise my younger 3 kids. 

If you are a new parent of a daughter that is a teenager or if you are struggling with remaining sane while raising your child through their teenage years, here are a few ways that I am surviving and have survived while raising my kids through their teenage years. 

• The 5 Love Languages of Children– Before I read The 5 Love Languages of Children, I didn’t believe that it was important to ‘speak’ and react to each child differently. I completely understood that no two kids are the same but I never realized that each child had their own love language. The 5 Love Languages of Children is a book that all parents need to read. I read this book when my girls were very young and then again when they became a preteen and a teenager. If you understand your teenagers love language, then it will help you not only understand them a little bit better but it will also help you communicate with them. You should also read The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers. I have not read this book yet but have plans to because it is written for the current times. 
• Let Your Teens Express Themselves– Teenagers go through stages of wanting to physically express themselves in different ways. Over the years I have learned that if their way of expressing themselves does not go against the dress code of their school and is not sexually inappropriate then you should allow it. My teenager has chosen unique hairstyles that I wouldn’t have personally chosen for her but she loves it and it makes her happy. In addition, her clothing style is not my favorite but once again, she feels comfortable in what she chooses to wear and if that makes her happy then that makes my life with my teenager a little bit easier. 
• Bite Your Tongue– This is probably one of the hardest things to do as a parent of a teen. Unfortunately, teenagers have not learned this tactic, so as parents it’s our job to do our best to bite our tongue and not keep a teenage argument continuing. 
• Community– Try to connect with other parents that have teenagers. Share stories, share ideas and talk about ways to survive. Talking to someone or a group of people that can relate is very helpful. 
• Choose Your Battles– Some battles are worth being fought but other battles are not. For example, my teenager’s room is a mess. Throughout the month, yes throughout the month, I have her clean portions of her room. I understand and agree that her room should be clean enough for her door to remain open but in my house, that is not a battle that is worth fighting. 
• Listen– If you are lucky, there will be times that your teenager comes to you and starts to talk. They will talk about their day, their friends, the drama at school, their thoughts, their dreams along with anything else that might enter their thoughts. This is your opportunity to listen. From my experience, if you express your opinions and thoughts that may turn your teenager off and they may stop talking. Do your best to listen and provide feedback when your teen asks for it.  
• Stay Consistent– Your rules are your rules. It’s important that you are consistent and stick with the rules, avoid compromising and let your teen know that you cannot be ‘played’ and manipulated. If you do not do this then you will be creating a lot of unnecessary and frustrating moments between you and your teenager. This can cause a lot of stress. 
• Breathe– Remember to breathe. There will be door slams and eye rolls. Instead of reacting, simply breathe. 

As a parent, one of the most important things to remember is that you were once a teenager. As a teenager, you were most likely moody, complicated, emotional, and hard to be around. Somehow your parents survived and you, hopefully, outgrew those teenage antics.

Be patient with your teen, take care of your mental well being and simply pray. In the end, you will survive your child’s teenage years.