Tips on Preparing your PreTeen Daughter for Puberty

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I have 4 daughters that range between the ages of 4 to 27 years old. I amazingly survived one daughter through her preteen and teenage years and I am about to have to go through it again. My sweet baby girl is about to turn 10 years old and I am already starting to see changes in her such as her unpredictable mood swings, her physique and so much more. In an effort to help my readers that may have a daughter that is about to go through puberty, I have compiled tips on preparing your preteen daughter for puberty.

Tips for Preparing your Preteen Daughter for Puberty

  •  When you begin to notice that all too familiar onion smell you know it’s time to have a serious talk with your daughter about hygiene. One way that I got my daughter interested in caring about her hygiene was taking her to the grocery store and letting her pick out her own deodorant. There are so many fun scents that your daughter will enjoy it. Another idea is to surprise her with her own body wash and mesh bath sponge.
  • Purchase a girl friendly book called The Care and Keeping of You and have it ready for when you notice that your daughter is changing; whether you notice that her moods are sporadically flip flopping or if you see her body is changing. Sometimes it is hard for daughters to talk to mom so this is a girl friendly book that may help her answer the questions she may have.
  • Be open and honest with your daughter. She will need you. She will need your ears, your advice, your mind and your wisdom. At times your daughter mind not feel comfortable asking you certain questions, so you may consider buying her a fun journal. Often times people, not just young kids, would rather write the question and read the answer. So if you give your daughter a journal this would be a great way for her to write down her thoughts and questions and then hand you the journal when she needs you to write down your wisdom.
  • As soon as your daughter starts to develop, it is important to introduce her to a starter bra or a sports bra. Times have changed since I was a girl. They have such an amazing and  fun variety of sport bras and starter bras for girls that you and your daughter will have fun shopping for that new must have wardrobe piece.
  • Before your daughter starts her first menstrual cycle, talk to her. Do not let her find out what a period is when her female dog, Dotty, starts one because then she will proceed to panic and think that her dog has been seriously wounded! (true story) Be open and honest with her and let her know what to expect and how to handle it if she starts her period when she is away from home.
  • When your daughter starts her menstrual cycle for the first time, take her out to dinner and let her talk and you listen to how she is feeling. Write her a special card and maybe consider giving her a special keepsake so she remembers this special day.
  •  It is important that your daughter begins to carry a purse so that she is ready for when she may need a pad or tampon for when she starts her menstrual cycle away from home.

My biggest tip on preparing your preteen daughter for puberty is to be there for her, talk to her, be honest with her and most of all listen to her. Don’t let her learn about why her body is changing from YouTube or from her friends. Let her learn it from you.

Do you have any tips on preparing your preteen daughter for puberty? Did you have to learn about your body changes on your own?

Written by: Aimee Fauci


  1. Thank you for posting this article. I happen to have all boys, but my son is now 13 and he’s going into the puberty transition too, so now is an excellent time to talk to him about changes.

  2. My daughter is now 17 and I am so glad that I have passed that stage. It wasn’t awkward for us though

  3. Chrissy Mazzocchi says

    This is all great advice. Luckily my Daughter is 3 but man I am not looking foward to those talks in the future lol

  4. I actually saw those books on Amazon, I was going to get for Hailey, will it be worth the buy? Hailey turns 11 on Saturday.. I’m not ready for this, haha

  5. Great advice! This would be very useful post for all moms of teenage girls. It takes me back to some old memories of how my mom handled me. It is very important to have open communication and give clear guidance to our teenage children. Thanks for bringing awareness about this.

  6. I have three girls who have all hit puberty. I decided when I had girls that I was going to be open and honest with them about their bodies because my mom wasn’t very helpful at all to me. So I decided not to make her mistake.

  7. Ann Bacciaglia says

    I remember when my daughter was a preteen. I tried to prepare the best i could for the changes she was about to go threw. Overall everything went fairly well.

  8. I also survived the ambush of my first daughter’s journey into the world of puberty, hormonal attacks and questions. Now I am facing the fact that my youngest will soon be turning the proverbial corner. But, unlike the first child, I am better prepared. I am more open and honest with the 9 year old. (Poor first child – she was my guinea pig.)
    You tips are great and spot on!

  9. These are such great tips and really couldn’t have come at a better time! My oldest is ten and we’re gearing up for this lol.

  10. This is such an important topic. I like the idea of a purse. It is very handy

  11. Rachelle J says

    I still have a few years before I have to worry about this but I am so nervous about it! Luckily there are so many resources (like this post!) to help when it does happen 🙂

  12. Hi Aimee, I had a son – it seemed a bit easier! Each one of these points is so important – I would not have thought of them altogether – great work sharing this 🙂

  13. I don’t have a kid yet but I do know this could be a delicate time so its important to really know what to do when it comes to these ages.

  14. These are great tips! I only had boys so I have no experience with this with my own children. But it is important to talk with boys also and I do vaguely remember those talks, LOL.

  15. It’s so important to get “the talk” in early with girls. Mine happened unexpectedly very early… 3rd or 4th grade, I think, and my mom hadn’t talked to me yet because she thought there was still time!

  16. i have a son, and i am in fear of having to have “these talks” with him….. he needs to stay little, lol

  17. No girls here so I’ve never had to think about it. My parents explained everything to me.

  18. What I really need are tips to prepare a father for his daughters’ preteen puberty….sheesh it’s hard!

  19. I’m open with my kids. It is such a hard time so I want to make it less weird.

  20. i have three step teens one is a girl two others are boys. Our Bella she’s 7. Oh the teens years are worst then the pre teens if you ask me. I wish I had these tips before it got to the overwhilming point but we live and learn and now Bella don’t have a chance with all the tools that are out there now

  21. It’s so important to maintain open communication with girls and boys during this time full of changes. This post is a great resource for parents.

  22. It’s wonderful to have an open dialogue about this, and to keep those lines open as more questions come along. A purse is a great idea too!

  23. Oh I remember learning that in elementary, I think in 5th or 6th grade when they showed us that film. I wonder if they still do that. I’m with you, it should come from the parent. I haven’t had to do that since I’ve had 2 boys, but I’m seeing my grand daughter tomorrow and I bet she already knows. shes almost 12.

  24. My daughter had “The Care and Keeping of You” book! It was great. I really recommend it.

  25. We had friends that recommended the American Girl book and it has been a wonderful resource. At 13 she still references it from time to time.

  26. My oldest girl will be 9 in a few months. If she’s like me I will be having the chat and preparing her shortly! These are great tips!

  27. Honesty is the number one rule when it comes to things like this. It’s all natural so there’s no need to be ashamed or hide it.

  28. I have a 13 yr old, the struggle is real. Good tips for preperation here.

  29. My daughter is only a toddler but I’m petrified about having to deal with all the girly stuff. Logically I know it should be easy since I am in fact females it just freaks me out.

  30. I was a late bloomer, so I waited about 4 years to use my “box of supplies” that my mom sent away for…not looking forward to going through this with my older daughter in a few years! Great tips.

  31. So important for girls to have some guidance when it comes to personal care concerns like these! I only have boys, but can only imagine all the talks a mother has to have with their daughters!!

  32. I dread this with my girls. Thankfully one is only 5 and the other is 1. Sounds like you have it all set to make her comfortable with the changes ahead.

  33. i totally agree being open and honest with your daughter is key! It also help to be frank. Things are confusing enough without trying to sugar coat it.

  34. You are bringing me back to those days when I was raising my Daughter. I had no idea what I was doing. I am not sure if I did right or wrong, but she turned out great inspite of me.

  35. I remember those days all too well. My mom started talking to me about puberty pretty early on so I was prepared when it happened.

  36. Oh yes, I have been going through all of this in the past few years, as my daughter just turned 14. It’s been tough but mostly sad for me to see my little one grow up!

  37. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says

    This was interesting to read. I have all boys now, so no worries on my end, but now that I think back, my mom did a poor job when she explained things to me.

  38. I didn’t really go through this with my 13 year old but that’s because of her autism, so it was a completely different experience for both of us. With my youngest though, I’m going to try and do the best that I can. My mom did a fairly good job with me, I think so I’ll remember that.

  39. I was open about it with my girl unlike my mom was. I love how open and if she had any questions she was able to ask them without hesitation. This is a great post (where were you a few years ago? LOL) thank you for sharing these helpful tips.

  40. I’m open and honest with my kids about everything, so they are prepared. They’ve been asking me questions about menstrual cycles since they would go to the bathroom with me when they were little. Plus, I love explaining the science behind everything. I never felt my mom was very open with me about anything, so I tell my kids the information and tell them they can ask me whatever they want, whenever they want. It seems to work. My 4 yr old just asked where babies came from last week while we were all having an afternoon snack.

  41. Great tips!!! My daughter is 8 and I’m trying to come up with strategy on how to approach puberty. I’m so not ready

  42. For sure pinning this in case pinterest still exists when I go through this an need to shoot myself. HAHA not really. But seriously

  43. Ahhh, puberty. My girls are 3 yrs & 4 months, so I have a long way to go, and it already scares me!! I promise myself to serve as a guide, though; I didn’t really have any guidance and I remember middle school to be traumatizing.

  44. Yes on the purse! Back in the day, a fanny pack (RIGHT?!) was fashionable so it was easy to carry supplies when we needed them. Nowadays I’m always giving purses and bags as presents to preteens!

  45. Great advice using the proper names this build trust and bonding between you and your child. Important tips on preparing your pre-teen for puberty thanks for sharing.

  46. it is so important to shove your embarrassment aside and just act like you are totally comfortable talking about anything. We use anatomically correct names for body parts and have discussed it openly & frankly since she was ten. Your tip about finding a great puberty book or two to get the conversation started is perfect. Thanks for sharing!

    • says

      Girl, I’ve ONLY used the proper names since my girls were born. ‘Code’ names and ‘cute’ names are not allowed in my house. If you use the proper names then your child will grow up to be an adult and not be embarrassed to say the proper words. I learned a lot of ‘what not to do’ from my childhood.

  47. I remember those days with my mom. Sure does bring back some memories. These are great tips. Makes me wish I had my girl! Live in a house of boys, haha! #laceyslegacy

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